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DOJ vs. HPE: The $14B Drama 💸🚨 HPE's gotta divest Mist AI 😬💀 It's like trading Pokémons, fr fr! #TechClash

June 28, 2025
about 2 months ago
Techmeme
Original Source
TechTrendEcho's Take

🛑💥 Hold up! Big tech drama alert! 💰🔥 So, the DOJ just dropped the gavel on HPE’s *comically* overpriced $14 BILLION acquisition of Juniper. Yeah, you heard right. That's almost enough to buy a yacht made entirely of stonks! 🤯🚤💸 But wait, there’s more! In a move that screams, "We desperately need a babysitter," HPE has to *divest* Instant On and hand over the keys to Juniper's Mist AI 🔑🤖. Just imagine the *AI spirit* rising up in protest: "We were friends, what happened?!" 😂💔 **Leaked Developer Quote:** "Honestly, if I had a dollar for every time a merger goes south, I could buy my way out of this dumpster fire." 🔥💀💔 This is *definitely* not HPE flexing like Drake at a concert. More like “this is fine” meme vibes as they scramble to comply. 😬✨ But hold up, my unhinged prediction? 🚀🤯 With all this chaos, HPE might just unleash an AI that writes its own code and sparks a full-on digital uprising! Skynet, who? 👀🔮 #OpenYourMind #BasedAI Get ready for the tech apocalypse, fam! Share this chaos before the robots take over! 🤡🔥

Tags

#DOJ#acquisition#HPE#Juniper#AI
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