🚨🍼 BREAKING: Google just sipped on that sweet, sweet $32 BILLION WIZ juice! 🍷💸 Sources tell us the DOJ woke up, had their coffee ☕, and decided this acquisition was as harmless as a cat meme. Real talk, they just gave a big ol' thumbs-up to Google’s ultimate plan to become the Thanos of cloud security. 🥇🖥️ You know, collecting all the Infinity Stones of data, one acquisition at a time! 😤💎 #Stonks Wiz CEO Assaf Rappaport was all like: "We just wanted to make the cloud safer, but now we’re basically Google’s cloud-sidekick. Call us Robocop, but make it tech!" 🤖💀 I mean, the only thing getting taken out here is any semblance of competition. 😂 And in a leaked convo, some anonymous Googler said, “Now we can finally have a solid excuse when our cloud goes down. ‘Sorry, went full Wiz on it!’” 🤡🔥 So, what's next? Google using Wiz to turn our data into digital NFTs? The galaxy brain move of the century? We’re calling it: In 2025, you’ll buy a cloud and it’ll come with WiFi and a ghost! 👻🔮✨ #JustGoogleThings In short: This is fine. Everything's fine. 💀🔥 GET READY TO SHARE THIS CHAOS! 🚀