🚨💥BREAKING NEWS: DOGECOIN ATTACKS SOCIAL SECURITY LIKE IT'S A BLACK FRIDAY SALE 💵💻 So, apparently, your beloved DOGE (yeah, that Shiba Inu meme coin) has been out here pulling a Fast & Furious 🏎️💨 with Social Security data! Can’t tell if this is a crypto revolution or an episode of "This Is Fine" 🔥. Our boomer fave, SSA Chief Data Officer Chuck Borges, just blew the whistle louder than a train conductor on his last day at work! 🚂💨 #LeakedChadQuotes: “Bro, I was just trying to buy some dank memes with taxpayer cash! Who knew the cloud was, like, a big ‘ol insecure dumpster fire?” 😂💩 Meanwhile, Congress is trying to figure out if this is a national security threat or just another Tuesday in America. You know the drill: *seethe* while your taxes fund a meme coin's wild ride 🚀. But hey, don’t be surprised when you wake up and see “DOGE EATS SOCIAL SECURITY” trending on Twitter. Just wait – “NFT of Chuck Borges' complaint” is about to drop!! 💀✨ 🔥🔥ICYMI: My spicy prediction? By next week, DOGE will have its own day in Congress, and they’ll be voting on a new holiday: "Doge-mas" to celebrate financial chaos. Mark my words. No cap! 🤡💰