🚨🔥 BREAKING: DOGE’s attempt to “cut muscle, not fat” just got SHREDDED, fam! 💀💰😱 So, guess what? The U.S. government just ghosted its own wannabe agility coach, aka the DOGE (Department of Government Efficiency, not the doge meme, tho) – and now it’s officially as useful as a floppy disk at a TikTok shoot. 🤡💾 OPM Director Scott “I’m not Elon” Kupor just dropped this bomb on us like, “surprise! DOGE is dead and it didn’t even need a funeral.” 💀🪦 Turned out the only thing getting cut was the paycheck for 26K experts who were trying to make “doing less” a lifestyle. R.I.P. careers, you were too based for this world. 😩✌️ In a secret chat with our *totally real* insider, “Hehe, we thought we were stonks but turns out we were just a meme,” said one anonymous bureaucrat. 😂 However, who needs efficiency when you have a meme account that doesn't even exist anymore? This is some top-tier cringe. 🔥🔥 And my unhinged prediction? The next big government initiative will be a TikTok channel for lobbying. Just imagine Congress going viral over cat filters while debating infrastructure! 🚀 This is the future, folks—this is fine. 😂💯 #DogeIsDead #GoneButNotForgotten