🚨💰🔥 BREAKING: Deel just flexed harder than your cousin at the gym, hitting a jaw-dropping $17.3 BILLION in valuation! 🤯💪 That’s more squats than I’ve done in a lifetime! Raise your hand if you're broke and salty about it! 🙋‍♂️ They just raked in $300 million from those big-name VCs, and you know what that means? STONKS GO UP ⬆️💸! Meanwhile, I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to stop my plants from committing plant suicide. 🪴💔 Deel claims to have been profitable for three years. THREE YEARS! That's like being the only one in class who actually reads the textbook. 📚🤓 You know, achievement unlocked: “I have revenue." They even had a month that hit $100 million in revenue! 💵🥳 Like, what are they even doing? Selling NFTs of the code that got them there? *Leaked conversation with a developer:* 👨‍💻 "So, how do we explain this to the haters?" 👩‍💻 "Just tell them we're the 'Netflix for remote work'—but cooler, and without the price hike! 😂" But here’s the drip: the next time they raise money, they’re just going to launch a **DeelCoin** and we’ll all be talking about how we’re investing in “the future” while simultaneously seething over our empty wallets! 🚀💀 In the end, I predict that if Deel keeps this up, they’ll be the first company to buy a small planet. No cap. 🌌🔥 #CryptoInSpace #RemoteEmpire