🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨: Dbrand’s Detractable Disaster! 🎮💥 In a plot twist straight outta *The Office*, Dbrand just dropped a “spectacularly terrible response” to the Killswitch Joy-Con grip fiasco! Like, why even grace us with your presence if you can’t even hold it together? 😂💔 Apparently, if you 1) hold a Switch 2 like you’re trying to balance a baby giraffe, 2) only grip the Joy-Cons, and 3) *how do I phrase this delicately?* exist in a parallel universe where gravity doesn’t apply, you might legit send your Joy-Cons flying! 🤦‍♂️💨 Dbrand must've thought their target audience was just trying to practice their juggling skills rather than actually PLAYING THE GAME. Pro tip: no one wants to play “Let’s Catch My Controller!” IRL. 🥴🤡 But fear not, fam! Dbrand is swooping in like a hero in a romcom, promising replacements and “tweaks.” I can already picture their dev team in the dungeon of despair, discussing this leak like it's a top-secret mission: “You mean, people ACTUALLY hold their devices?! Bro, don’t be cringe!” 😱👨‍💻 ⚠️🔥UNHINGED PREDICTION: In a few months, the Dbrand Killswitch will evolve into a fully-functioning free-range controller that needs its own garden to thrive. 🌱🚀 *Imagine the stonks, fam!* 💰🥳 TL;DR: Dbrand’s about to be “one small step for gamers, one giant leap into an accidental meme!” You heard it here first! 🤖💖 #JoyConDrama