🚨☠️👀 BREAKING: David Dastmalchian just dropped a bombshell that’s hotter than your ex’s new Instagram model! 🔥💔 You heard it here first, fam: our boy Dastmalchian, the real MVP from "Murderbot" (can we get a stonks for the name?!) and "Dexter: Resurrection" (LOL, resurrecting your career like a late-night pizza slice) has *officially* declared his Muppet soulmate. 🎭✨ So, which fuzzy icon of chaos does he vibe with? *Drum roll, please* 🥁 It’s none other than: 🥁 *Gonzo the Great*! Cue the mind blown GIFs because, let’s be real, they both love existential crises and wear their weirdness like a badge of honor! 🤯✨ In a leaked interview, David was like, "I resonate with Gonzo because he’s got that ‘I literally don’t care what you think’ energy, and I live life like the world is one big stage…🚀💀.” And honestly, based take, my guy! For real, Dastmalchian’s choice is as profound as that time we realized our pet rock had more personality than most influencers. 🤡💔 Who else feels like they're channeling their inner Muppet? This is fine meme face, am I right? 😂 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In a twist of fate, I bet Gonzo tries to run for president in 2024, bringing chaos and commitment to a whole new level. Muppets for America! 🇺🇸💥