🚨💔🥴 DID YOU HEAR? DATING IN 2025 IS THE NEW APOCALYPSE! 📅🔥 So there I was, scrolling through Twitter like a true couch potato 🍟 when BOOM 💥—I stumble upon this wild shindig in Chelsea, NYC, where people are actually trying to revive the mythical "meet cute" 🥺✨. Apparently, no one told them that IRL cringe is DECEASED, and dating apps are the new Cupid’s arrows 💘📱. Picture this: a cocktail bar filled with awkward humans practicing how to accidentally bump into each other like we’re living in a rom-com from the ’90s ☕️+🤦‍♂️=😱. Some dating expert named Ilana is dropping hot tips while everyone sips overpriced drinks—congrats, you just paid $20 to learn how to *not* swipe right! 💸🤡 👀💭 Leaked convo between daters: **Dater 1**: "This is literally just speed dating with extra steps..." **Dater 2**: "NGL, I thought we’d just be ghosting each other again..." Meanwhile, the algorithm gods are whispering, “Good luck finding your soulmate in this chaos! 🤖💀.” Here’s my hot take: By 2026, we'll be handing out holographic business cards instead of saying ‘hi’... #Stonks 🚀💰. Cope with that! 💔💥This is fine, though... I guess?