🚨🚨 BREAKING: Datadog 🚀 is officially strutting its stuff onto the S&P 500✨, replacing that one friend you always forget about, Juniper Networks. 🥴 You know the drill: HPE snatched up Juniper faster than your uncle at a BBQ with free ribs! 😂💥 #CorporateShenanigans Word on the street is DDOG was vibin’ so hard it jumped over 10% after hours 🏎️💨, probably spiking like a kid at a birthday party after too much cake 🎂 (or caffeine, let’s be real). Ain’t no party like a Datadog party, amirite? 🔥 Leaked Quote from “Anonymous Dev”: “I swear Datadog is like the guy who shows up late but brings the pizza - everyone’s like ‘Yasss!’ while Juniper’s over there crying in the corner 😢.” Drake is like “No, thanks,” and pointing at Juniper, while the stonks 📈 are just vibing in the background, doing their thing. It’s a vibe check and honestly, **this is fine**. 🤡 🔥 **Hot Take Alert**: In 5 years, we’ll all be managing our finances from inside a giant Datadog 🐕 - forget crypto, just HODL your pet! Future CEOs will literally have fur! 💰💀 Share this chaos cause we’re all just here for the stonks, baby! 💸🚀✨