🚨🔥BREAKING NEWS: TRUMP & CRYPTO, THE SHAKEDOWN WE NEVER ASKED FOR!🔥🚨 So, crypto just pulled a "whoopsie," losing a whopping $1T+ 🤑💔. That’s like dropping a whole bag of stonks on the floor! And guess what? The Trump family’s mega-fortune took a tumble too, from an impressive $7.7B 💸 to a measly $6.7B. I mean, that’s less than my future career plans! 🚀💀 And let’s talk TMTG—the “Truth Social” thing where nobody actually socializes 😂. Daddy Trump’s stake plummeted by $800M. It’s like he opened a lemonade stand but forgot to actually squeeze the lemons! 🍋😅 LEAKED QUOTE: A so-called insider said, "we thought crypto was the golden goose, but turns out it was just a plastic chicken 🐔." Meanwhile, the family is like, “This is fine,” while their wallets burn. 🔥🤡 Drake is pointing to his decision to invest in anything but crypto and saying, "NOPE!" 🤷‍♂️💔. So, mark my words, in this crypto winter, we’re *definitely* gonna see Trump start selling NFT selfies! Imagine the chaos! 🤖💰 #TrumpNFTs #CryptoCrisis2023