🎤💥 BREAKING: RIP CPB, 1967-2026: A MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR GRIFT OR JUST A REALLY LONG YAWN? 💰👋 Alright, folks, put your headphones on because THIS is the tech news we didn't know we needed (or asked for) 😂. So, America's favorite binge-watching buddies, NPR and PBS, are getting kicked to the curb—like that one friend who never brings snacks to movie night. 🍕📺💀 Womp womp! Despite millions of Americans crying "NOOOOO" like they're in a Shakespearean tragedy, the White House was like "nah fam, we’re cutting these public broadcasting dollars like it's a fidget spinner fad." 🚀🤡 Just a casual $1.1 BILLION snatched up faster than your WiFi at the start of a Netflix binge! 💔 In a stunning turn of events, one “insider” (totally didn't make this up) said, “We thought this was a comedy show, but it’s turned into a tragedy!” 🤡💥 Meanwhile, the Senate is out here voting as if they’re participating in a reality TV elimination round—“I’m sorry, CPB, you’re NOT the one!” 💔👀 Brace yourselves, this hot take is ON FIRE: What if PBS comes back as a TikTok channel? 60-second educational clips on how to properly roll a burrito might just save them! 🤯🔥 #LifeHacks #CPB2026 #Stonks 🥴💀 Share this chaotic news as a reminder that the real drama is in the voting booth—not just Netflix! 🌟