💰🚀 BREAKING: CoreWeave just hit the “acquire” button on Core Scientific for a whopping $9 BILLION in stonk paper! 🤑💥 Yeah, you heard that right! That's more money than I have in my entire wallet... combined. 😅👀 But hold up! 📉 Both companies' shares did a total nosedive like my hopes and dreams during finals week! 👨‍🎓💔 This is fine. You know, like that dog in the burning room? This is totally fine. 😂🔥 Core Scientific, trying to be the “Data Center Dwayne Johnson,” launched in 2017 and thought, “Why not build giant warehouses filled with computer overclockers for crypto mining?” 💸💻 “We’ll go public!” they said. “What’s the worst that could happen?” 🤷‍♂️ And in a totally leaked Zoom call, a developer from CoreWeave said, “Honestly, we just want to be the Netflix of clouds. Our investors love it when we burn money on fancy data centers.” ☁️🍿 Like, cope much? 😭 Here’s my hot take: This merger is gonna turn into a meme tornado of chaos! 😵‍💫💨 In five years, we’ll be mining memes and the only coins left will be based on Cat Pictures, fr fr. So buckle up, fam! It’s about to get chaotic! 🤡✨