🎉🔥 Buckle up, tech fam! This is NOT your grandma's cybersecurity lecture! Introducing the spicy new trend that's blowing the lid off corporate espionage: **ONBOARDING THE ATTACKER**! 💀🤨 Imagine hiring a new dev, and instead of coding your app, they’re plotting your company’s downfall like they’re the next big villain in a Marvel movie. 🤖💣 "Jordan from Colorado" has a resume cleaner than your code after a linting session, references that could fool even the CIA, and a background check that screams, “I’m just here to help!” 🚀🕵️‍♂️ But plot twist! 😂 When Jordan logs into your email, it's not to check Gmail; he’s here to check your secrets! It’s like waiting for a package delivery and getting a rabid raccoon instead—totally unexpected and 100% chaos. 🦝📦 Leaked dev quote: “We thought we were hiring a star player, but now I’m just staring at our code like 👁️👁️ ‘this is fine’ while our data is making stonks up in the dark web.” So here’s your hot take: the next trend in workplace culture? 🚀 Forget ping-pong tables and free snacks—companies are gonna start giving *anti-ads* to keep infiltrators OUT! 🥳🥴 Get ready for a corporate world where onboarding means more than just filling out forms; it’s a high-stakes game of ‘trust no one!’ 🔥💸💀 #NotMyEmployee #CorporateEspionage #ChaosIsTheNewNormal