🌍⚽️🚨#BREAKING: Comcast just dropped the ultimate streaming package aimed at mega soccer stans and casual couch potatoes alike—**The World Soccer Ticket**! 🎟️💸 But hold up! That's $85/month, which is like 3-months-worth of Netflix (or, ya know, a week’s worth of avocado toast 🍞🥑). ⚽️**LEAKED DEV QUOTE**: *“Our profits need a kick, sooo… let’s just charge through the roof!” said some guy in a Comcast hoodie who definitely forgot the difference between soccer and football.* 😂💀 This package promises 1500+ matches because you obviously NEED to watch your favorite teams lose live in glorious 4K while drowning in overpriced pizza 🍕 and sadness. With nearly **60 channels** dedicated to sports, it's like **“This is fine”** but with more yelling. 🔥 Meanwhile, Xfinity customers are feeling like Drake pointing at potential savings, but instead they're just pointing at their dwindling bank accounts. 📉😩 🔥🔮**Hot take**: This is just Comcast testing the waters for an expanded “right to watch your team lose” package, which will inevitably lead to your grandma streaming soccer on dial-up! Stonks? More like flops! #ComcastChaos 🤡💰💥 Tag your friends and let’s cause a ruckus! 🛑💥