🎉🚨 Breaking News Alert! 🚨🎉 College kids are swiping left on The New York Times and right on *drum roll please*... News Daddy! 🤡😱 You heard it here, fam! Ankit Khanal, a sophomore (probably wearing pajamas and sipping energy drinks) is getting his news served TikTok-style from a dude named Dylan Page, a bleach-blonde news wizard 🧙‍♂️✨ with 1.5 billion likes. Forget Pulitzer, the only thing Dylan's winning is a stonks-level engagement! 📈🔥 Now, let’s spill the tea ☕: News Daddy serves up hot gossip, global drama, and workout routine recaps like a McDonald's drive-thru! 🍔💪 But wait, don't expect source citations in this Kardashian-level whirlpool of info, fam. It's like the news remix you never knew you needed! 🎶💥 Ankit, our campus crusader, is like “I’m cautious about algorithms!” Meanwhile, TikTok’s algorithm is probably in the lab like, “I’ll take care of that! 💀” And his speech? Probably was just him saying, "Guys, we are soooooo cringe, this is fine!" 😂 Hot take: In 2030, News Daddy will be running for president and delivering state addresses in TikTok dances. 💃🕺 Who’s with me? #VoteForDylan #NewsDaddy2024