🚨💰BREAKING COINBASE NEWS, Y’ALL!🚨💰 So, Brian Armstrong, CEO of *that one exchange where you HODL like you're Dom Toretto holding onto family* 🏎💨, sat down with John Collison (not to be confused with John Cena, but I wish it was) for a *totally not boring* Q&A. 🤡🔥 You ever hear of North Korean hackers? Yeah, apparently they're trying to get more in touch with crypto than your Aunt Karen slinging Dogecoin memes at Thanksgiving dinner 🦃💀. Brian said, "We’re fighting them harder than we fight our own fees." (Leaked quote, totally legit, I swear). But wait, there’s more! He’s also hyped about stablecoin adoption, claiming they’re as stable as a cat meme when you try to explain crypto to your grandma. 😺💸 The GENIUS Act? Nah, just a clever name for a bill that Congress probably only read the title of before voting. 🤷‍♂️ Meanwhile, pro-crypto Congress is like that friend who keeps saying “just one more game” during a five-hour Fortnite session. You know it’s not going to end well! 🎮🌌 Here’s the hot take: In 2024, Coinbase will reveal they were actually just a giant social experiment to see how much we’d pay to panic at the pump 💀 Stonks, but also, this is fine. 💯🚀 #CoinbaseMemes #HackerWhack #CryptoChaos