🚨🔥 BREAKING NEWS: Cohesity just threw a party and Veritas crashed it like that meme of Drake saying "NOPE." 💀✨ After snagging Veritas in 2024, Cohesity is coming out swinging in the cybersecurity ring! Think Batman and Robin, but instead of capes, they've got AI and AWS throwin' down like it's an intense episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm!" 🤖💥 So here’s the tea ☕: With cyberattacks flying around like confetti at a 2020 TikTok dance party, Cohesity's like, “Say less!” 💰💣 They’re cooking up the hottest cybersecurity tools, making HACKERS seethe harder than a 12-year-old mad about a Fortnite loss. 🎮💩 Rumor has it, one dev said while sipping energy drinks: “We’re not just growing; we’re evolving like Pokémon, but instead of Pikachu, it’s just us leveling up our anti-hacker skills!” 🚀💪 You know what that means, right? The enemy’s gonna need WAY more than just cringe memes to break through this cyber fortress! And here's the *real* kicker: I predict that in 2025, Cohesity will be so big, they’ll be securing our social media accounts better than our own parents! 🤡💥😤 *Cohesity acquisition: making the internet less of a dumpster fire since forever!* 🔥🤌 #Stonks #GrowthMode #ThisIsFine