🚨💰 BREAKING: Cognition is about to hit us with a fat $300M bag, and they’re trying to flex a STRAIGHT UP $10B valuation!!! 🤯 That’s like turning a side hustle into a whole-ass empire overnight! 💪💸 4B just a few months ago? Someone call the stonks meme police because this is TOO surreal! 🚀💥 Sources say their coding assistant Devin is vibing harder than a cat on a Roomba 🐱🛴, and now they’re out here snatching up rival Windsurf like it’s Black Friday at Best Buy. “Yo bro, buy that junk, it's basically just dead code now,” one imaginary developer probably said. 🤖💻💀 But let’s get real, how many coding assistants does one coder REALLY need? 🤔 Like, if this was a video game, we’d have unlocked the “Too Many Tools” achievement by now. 🤹‍♂️ Cognition and their crew of venture capital overlords are riding the hype train like it’s a TikTok dance challenge and I’m just here hoping they don’t crash and burn like that one crypto project 🪙🔥. 🛑 UNHINGED PREDICTION TIME: In 2025, Cognition will release a coding assistant that writes code for your code assistants, and it will blow all our minds and wallets at the same time. This is fine. 🔥💀 #DevInception #HypeMachine