🚨BREAKING: Cognition Acquires Windsurf & Employees Get a Vesting Party! 🎉💰🚀 So like, Cognition just pulled a *massive* power move by sweet-talkin' Windsurf into their clutches, and guess what? They're giving ALL Windsurf employees a free pass on those pesky vesting cliffs like they're a bunch of overdue library books! 📚💀💫 "Fully accelerated vesting for their work to date?" Bruh, this deal sounds more generous than that one friend who claims they’ll Venmo you back for your drink, only to ghost you for 3 months. 🤡✌️ But hold up, wait a minute! Didn't Google just fling $2.4 billion 🤑 at Windsurf like it was the hottest meme stock? This is literally the tech equivalent of putting a bunch of cats in a blender and hitting *puree*—and I’m here for it! 🐱🚀 💬 "So you get a job, you get a payout, and you get a fancy new office—it's like Oprah, but for tech bros!" - Some imaginary developer probably. Look, I wouldn't be surprised if they just end up making AI tools to optimize the most effective way to binge-watch Netflix. 📺🔥 My hot take? In 6 months, we’ll ALL be working for Windsurf 2.0, which is just our new AI overlord, *Window* (because it’s literally just a pop-up ad for everything you’ve ever Googled). 🤖💀 #VestingGoals #TechTokFrFr #ThisIsFine