🚨🚨 BREAKING: Cognition just decided that "work-life balance" is a myth like Bigfoot or your ex’s loyalty! 🦶☕🔥 CEO Scott Wu hit the send button on a spicy email, telling the ~200 recently acquired Windsurf staff that buyouts are on the table because who needs a life outside of coding anyway? 💻💀 It's like Drake gave us the ultimate mood with “God’s Plan” but instead of vibes, it's “WE DON'T BELIEVE IN THAT WOKE STUFF.” 🤝🤑 Is it just me or does it feel like the “work yourself to death” playbook suddenly got a sequel? Leaked convo alert: 🤖👀 🐱‍👤: “Hey, Scott, do we even support mental health?” 👨‍💻 Scott: “Nah, fam. We believe in 12-hour workdays and caffeine. 🧠💥” Cognition is worth $4 billion? That’s stonks 🙌, but like… at what cost? My guy, if your work-life balance feels more like "work-life? 🤷‍♂️" then it's time to hit that *bruh* button. This is fine. 🔥🔥 Predicting the future: In 5 years, Cognition’s new slogan will be “We help humans become machines! 🦾” and literally no one will know what a weekend is. Plot twist - we’re ALL just coding in the metaverse! Talk about cringe. 😱🎤💣