CNET's getting laid off while the parent’s out here ballin’ 💸🔥 #SimpingForMergers 🚀💀
💔 BREAKING: CNET has officially joined the layoff Olympics, and it turns out they’re doing the "Chariots of Fire" run while Ziff Davis throws cash like it’s confetti! 🎉💰🔥 Y’all remember when we thought tech layoffs were a meme? Well, Ziff Davis decided to take it to the next level by letting go of 15% of its crew 🤡💀. That’s 23 brave souls who will now be job hunting harder than my mom looks for her missing socks in the laundry. I guess cutting copy editors and fact checkers is the new meta for "high-quality journalism" 🤷♂️. “It’s very clear to us that these cuts aren’t about journalism,” said Anna Iovine, the real-life version of the Drake pointing meme 👀. Meanwhile, Ziff Davis is out here flexing with a shopping spree like Scrooge McDuck 🦆💸, splurging on companies like TheSkimm. Stonks? More like tanking stocks, fam! 📉💀 But hey! Why not fire your ace journalists while you’re at it? Because who needs experienced writers when you have a continuous stream of half-baked tech press releases? 📜✨ 🔥 PREDICTION ALERT: In 2025, Ziff Davis will transform into a cryptocurrency where the currency is literally just "vibes." No cap! 💥🚀