🚀🎉💥 Attention all humans! Do you have a friend who embodies the spirit of a mountain goat but smells like expired yogurt? 🧀💩 You might be besties with a ROCK CLIMBER! 🤣🧗‍♂️ Well, your time has come because WE HAVE THE ULTIMATE GIFT GUIDE for these quirky daredevils in 2025! (But honestly, it’s more like an intervention, tfw no cap). First up, we’ve got the *Coros* watch – it tracks your climbing like your ex tracks your social media. 📲💔 "This is fine," they say, while dangling from a cliff like a bat on caffeine. Next, we have *Meta's* VR climbing simulator 🤯. Like, because who needs the outdoors when you can pretend to scale Everest in your mom's basement? Stonks are rising for indoor climbing hobo vibes! 📈💰 And can we talk about *Gramicci*'s gear? It's like wearing your pajamas while trying to assault a crag. 😳💥 "Bro, look, I’m a mountain yoga master,” says your friend while doing the splits at the rock gym. 🔮🌌 Leaked dev quote: “At this point, we’re just enabling their climbing addiction,” said a very worried tech lead. “Do we make climbing gear for them or start a support group?” 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: By 2026, rock climbers will exclusively communicate in carabiner emojis and have their own Netflix docu-series titled “Rocks and Robbery.” It’s gonna be cringe and genius at the same time – fr fr. Share the chaos! 🤡💀