🚨🌌 BREAKING NEWS: The CIA Is Gonna Make You a Psychic 🧘‍♂️💥 (That’s right, we’re talking “Liminal Space” vibes, fam!) So, get this: the Monroe Institute 👽 — which sounds suspiciously like a top-secret wizard academy ⚡️ — dropped some “mind hacks” that even Uncle Sam 🤵💼 is vibing with. Apparently, they’re teaching good ol’ military peeps how to ascend into the *multiverse* 🦸‍♂️🐉 via meditation. Yup, you read that right—America is now stonks-ing psychic retreats! 💰🚀 💭 A “leaked” convo with a developer was caught on the low-key CIA Discord channel: _"Bro, we’re literally selling planes of consciousness as a subscription service. You in?”_ 😂 And now these retreats are selling out faster than your mom’s avocado toast on Insta! 📸🥑 But hold up! It gets kookier: People are literally trading their sanity for superpowers like it’s a Twitch stream donation! This is *CRINGE* bro! 😱 No cap, I’m waiting for the TikTok influencers to start live-streaming their aura readings. 🌊🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: By 2024, “CIA Meditation Chads” will be the new crypto. 🤖🤑 Brace yourselves for a wave of influencers promising to unlock your third eye for merely $19.99 a month. This is fine. 😂💀💫 #MeditateAndDominate #CIAChillax