🚨🔥 BREAKING: Christian Militants Level Up to IG Influencers 🔥🚨 So, buckle up fam, because the *real* Avengers of the culture wars are *recruiting* on Instagram. 🤡💀 Yes, you heard that right! Our boys in camo are trading in their battle gear for a new outfit: the *'Christian Nationalist Influencer'* swag. 😱👀 💪 “Why go to the gym when you can just flex your views on Instagram?” - *leaked quote from a guy named Chad, who may or may not be an actual Chad* 💰✌️ These peeps are out here dropping motivational quotes like “God first, guns second” and 📸 posting aesthetic pics of their tactical gear with the hashtag #Blessed🔥🤖! You know they’re out to recruit the next wave of paramilitary stans. Talk about *stonks*! 🚀📈 Meanwhile, the rest of us are just here, sipping our lattes like, “This is fine.” ☕️🔥 But honestly, if they can turn TikTok trends into a militia recruitment drive, what’s next? 🤔 Hot take: in 2024, we’re gonna see a collab between these Christian militias and high-profile influencers, and my bet is on the release of a brand new combat apparel line called “Faith & Firearms.” NO CAP! 🔥💥 So, buckle up, get your cringe shields ready, and pray we don’t have to draft TikTok dances as part of the new militant training regimen. 😱💃 #PrayForUs