🚨 BREAKING NEWS ALERT 🚨: Christian Influencers Are Low-Key Throwing Their Hatch Clocks in the Trash 💔⏰🔄, and folks, the drama is spicier than a jalapeño in hell! 🔥😈 So imagine this: a bunch of holy influencers (you know, the ones that post "Motivation Monday" alongside an iced coffee) have decided to *gasp* unplug from reality and FLING their fancy sunrise alarms into the abyss of their local landfills. Why? Because Hatch decided to turn up the creep factor with their *horror-themed Halloween ads* 🎃👻! 💀 "We thought we were waking up to the sound of angels singing, but now it's like I’m in a haunted house!" screamed one influencer in an alleged DM to their followers. “No cap, what’s next? A clock that wakes you with the sound of demons?!” 🙄😱 Meanwhile, Hatch is out there rolling in dough 🤑 with their latest “Demon Alarm” feature that supposedly wakes you up to the sound of screams... or is that just my neighbor's kid? 🤖💀 **In conclusion**: Put down those peaceful hymns, fam. This is fine. ✌️ but also, let’s be real—what's next? Alarm clocks that trade your sleep for NFTs? 🚀👀 Prediction Alert 🚨: 2025 is gonna bring us “Satan’s Snooze Button”—no more peaceful waking but a trip to the underworld instead. Stonks? I think not. 😬📉 #ChaosWakeUpCall