🚨🥴💰 Hold onto your wallets, folks, because Christian Catalini, the OG of Meta’s Libra (aka the biggest flop since my 2nd grade science project), is spillin’ the tea on what went wrong and what Stripe's new blockchain, Tempo, can learn from it! Spoiler alert: *Everything* 💀👀 But wait, there’s more! This dude basically laid out the blueprint of how to dodge a massive $BNB like a TikTok dance challenge – you know, the ones nobody asked for. *Cue Drake's "Hotline Bling" meme pointing at Stripe* – “Not this one, fam!” 🔥 **Leaked developer convo:** Developer 1: "So how do we avoid Libra’s faceplant?" Developer 2: "Easy! No Facebook! 😂" Developer 1: "You sure? They just keep posting those cringe ads!" Developer 2: "Look, let’s just throw a bunch of buzzwords at it like 'decentralized' and 'blockchain' and see if it sticks." 🤡🚀 Meanwhile, Stripe’s out here trying to sell you corporate blockchain like it’s the new iPhone but we all know it’s just a sparkly flip phone with a TikTok filter. 🤳💀 🔥🔥🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2025, we’re gonna see a corporate blockchain backed by a cat video NFT collection that sells for $69 million. *Stonks on stonks!* 💸💸💸