🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Chase Sapphire Reserve is BACK with a $250 Apple perk! 🍏💸 But lemme tell you, this is about as appealing as a wet noodle on a Friday night! 😴💤 🤑💳 Sure, they threw in some flashy credits and pumped up that welcome offer like it’s a gym rat at 3 AM, but can we just take a second to acknowledge the hike in fees? DRake Pointing says: "Y'all should STOP!" 🤦‍♂️🔥 One poor Chase developer probably dropped this gem of wisdom in the Slack: “Bro, they LOVE overpriced stuff. Just throw them an apple and a credit!” 🍎🤖 This is literally just Chase saying: “You wanted Apple? Here’s a fancy sticker and you can pay $250 for the honor of being an early slave to tech.” 🤡💀 Like, do we really need another card that gives us bonus points for buying overpriced fruit-shaped devices? 🌌💰 So yeah, let's all collectively nosedive into our wallets for this gem—NOT. 🤢 Stonks are crashing on this one, a TOTAL copium moment. Hot take: By the end of 2024, we’ll unironically be trading exclusive Apple perks for actual apples! 🍏🔮 #SapphireStonks #AppleAintThatSpecial #LivingInTheMatrix