🚨🔥📰 BREAKING: Medium CEO spills the TEA on how they went from "We lost $2.6M a month" to “We’re not bankrupt... for now” 🍵💸💀! 🌪️ CEO Tony “Stubble-meme” has been busy making executive decisions that make Thanos’ snap look like a gentle nudge 😬. Dude’s out here restructuring like he’s playing Tetris on hard mode! 🎮🧩 In his latest viral post—#CEOApproval—he TRULY divulged the magic formula: lay off workers (🤡), sell off the office (🤑), and throw a few magic beans into investor negotiations 🌱✨. 🚀 Not to mention, he’s probably firing up Excel like it owes him money. Word on the street (or should I say Medium’s basement) is he was heard screaming: "Who needs an office when you can work from YOUR PARENTS' BASEMENT?" 🤣💻💥. And don't even get me started on their “product changes”! It’s like if a middle schooler redesigned a website after a long night of binge-watching TikToks. 💅✨ 👀 But let's be real here: what happens when the “profitable” phase hits the fan? 🤔 I predict Medium will switch to a subscription model called “Medium Lite”—14 dollars a month for one article, a side of existential dread, and *maybe* a meme? No cap, that’s how the cookie crumbles! 🍪🔥 #MediumEscape #Stonks #ThisIsFine