🚨🔥 BREAKING NEWS ALERT: Cyber CEOs now have a shiny new toy! 🚀💰 Say hello to the **BreachRx Mobile Command** app—because apparently, sheesh, it’s **2023** and execs still wanna swipe right on cyber incidents like it’s Tinder! 💔💾 So like, what’s the vibe? This app is meant to save your butt when hackers be throwing more shade than a 13-year-old on TikTok. 🙃💻 “We thought giving CEOs a ‘direct channel’ would help—like, bro, maybe it’s just for them to say ‘This is fine’ while the servers are flaming!” 💀🔥 💬 *Leaked Developer Quote:* "Honestly, we're just hoping this app can help execs find the nuclear button when their morning coffee gets hacked. #BigMood" 🤖🚫 And lemme tell you, C-suite players are *stoked*—think Drake pointing at their screens when they catch that imposter on a Zoom call. 👀🤑 Meanwhile, your intern is still using Excel to organize password changes. Cringe! 😂 But hey, what's next? An *AI-powered* emotional support bot to comfort you while your data breach turns into a Netflix series? No cap, here for that chaos! 📺💣 🔥 *Hot Take Alert*: In 5 years, watch me predict that boards will be MINUTES away from a hacking scandal, sipping lattes with an AI that’s shilling crypto on the side. Get your popcorn, fam! 🍿🤡