🚨🔍🎉 BREAKING NEWS: CBP Goes Full Sherlock on Your Phones! 🕵️‍♂️💀 🤖 So, you thought your phone was safe, huh? 🤔 Nah fam, the Customs and Border Protection (CBP) just slid into the DMs of tech geniuses all over the place, looking for new toys to snoop on your phones! 📱💔 They want "deep analysis" tools to get all up in your photos, texts, and weirdo memes! 😂💩 Imagine this: your phone gets seized at the border, and instead of a simple pat-down, it gets the full spa treatment! "First we scrub your TikToks, then a deep dive into your memes!" 🔥💆‍♂️ #lol One *totally not* leaked CBP developer quote: “We’re just trying to find out who’s the real villain behind that cringe TikTok dance challenge!” 😭💃 But for real, do they really think someone’s hiding *classified* stonks memes between pics of their dinner? 🍔💰 Bros, it’s just a bunch of cat pics and that one guy who always “accidentally” sends you memes. 🔥Let’s be real: this is just a tech-nerd's wet dream. A modern-day witch hunt for “hidden data.” 👀 Meanwhile, the actual criminals are out here using flip phones still! 🤷‍♂️ 🎤 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 5 years, CBP will be launching their own app: “VPN for your Vibes” to help you hide your memes from the gubment! 🚀👽 Anyway, send help. This is fine. 🔥💀📅