🚨BREAKING NEWS 🚨: Figure Technology just hit the 'send' button on their IPO filing because… apparently, it's 2017 again and we all still care about blockchain? 🤖💰💤 So, your boy Mike Cagney, the co-founder of Figure (let’s be real, he probably just Googled "blockchain buzzwords" and called it a day) is making his grand return to the public markets. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water…🦈💸 In an exclusive *leaked* chat with an imaginary developer: 👨‍💻 Dev: "So, like, a blockchain business? In 2023? Sounds lit." 👨‍💼 Cagney: "Fr fr, but it's actually just lending. No cap! 🚀" The filing is basically an emotional rollercoaster for Cagney. Picture it: the *Drake pointing* meme while he’s avoiding SEC regulations like they're his ex. *This is fine* 😂🔥 But let's dive deeper, shall we? The cringe factor? Off the charts. The excitement? Stonks do be shaking. 📉 If you’re looking for “vindication,” just throw some memes at it and hope a bull market randomly appears! 💀🚀 HOT TAKE: In 2024, Figure's stock will either make you rich or leave you sobbing on your bathroom floor while you watch your crypto portfolio crumble. #HODL or #CopeandSeethe? Share this, or risk being the person still using dial-up! 🖥️💩