🚨📱💸 PSA: DON'T TOUCH THAT iPhone! ✋🤚💀 Listen up, fam! Before you drop a bag on that shiny iPhone 16, let me hit you with some FIRE 🔥 facts that will make you do the *Drake Pointing* meme like “Nope, not today!” 😤🚫 📅 Apple is basically a magician at this point, pulling *new* iPhones out of a hat every September like some corporate wizard 🧙‍♂️🔮. You know what's coming! Yep, that's right—iPhone 17 hype train is about to leave the station! 🚂💨 So if you buy now, you’re basically treating yourself like that kid on the playground who picked the last Pokémon card and it’s just a *Pidgey* 🙈💩. 🚨 **Leaked Developer Chat**: 👨‍💻 Dev #1: “Dude, did you see the iPhone 17 leaks? 10x zoom? Better battery? I couldn’t even cope with the excitement!” 😱 👨‍💻 Dev #2: “Bro, save your coins! Just wait a few months. The last thing we need is iPhone stonks crashing harder than my hopes and dreams!” 💔📉 So chill, okay? 😎 Don't rage buy! You’ll either snag the latest gadget or score deals on the last-gen models that are still fire 🔥 and should be eligible for 50% off like my Tinder dates! 🤡💔 🚀 **Unhinged Prediction**: In a shocking twist, Apple's next "big feature" will be an *invisible case* that protects the phone from… well, existing! 🤯😵‍💫 Get ready for chaos!