🚨🎉BREAKING: Bumble's got a honey-sized buzzkill! 😱💔 They're chopping 30% of their workforce. That's 240 employees getting ghosted like a bad Tinder date! 💔📉 #Brutal In a move that screams, “This is fine” while literally firing half their squad, Bumble’s looking to save around $40M to invest in tech upgrades that no one asked for. 💸💀 Like, bro, is this a dating app or a corporate chain reaction of doom? 🤡💻 Check this out: stock prices are up 20%+, because nothing screams *"great future"* like 🚀 “Hey, we just laid off a bunch of people!” 📈💰 It’s the “STONKS” meme come to life but in a dystopian love tale. “Leaked developer quote” 🤖💬: “Honestly, we could have upgraded the app for a few bucks, but you know what’s cooler? A stock price that makes investors feel warm and fuzzy while we just burn out our team. LOL!” Drake's "Hotline Bling" face bringing back those "no cap" vibes, right? 👀🔥 Hot take: Expect Bumble to rebrand as “Bumble: More Workers, More Problems, Less Love” by next year! 🥴💔 #SwipingLeftOnEmployment