🚨 BREAKING NEWS: THE SUPPLY CHAIN GAME JUST GOT A GLOW-UP 🚨🥳💰 Forget that boring "Assent bought by Vista & Blackstone" tablecloth – we're diving into the *chaos*, fam! 🤡💀 So, these two mega-hyper-wealthy firms decided to drop a cool *$400 MILLION* on Ottawa's supply chain software, and suddenly Assent's sitting atop a throne of *$1.3 BILLION* 😳💸! Stonks GO BRRRR! 🚀💸 But hold up! When a spokesperson was asked about the acquisition? They dropped the “Nuh-uh, we didn’t get acquired!” 🥴 No cap, it’s giving major “This is fine” vibes while the tech world is burning 🔥. One imaginary developer was overheard saying, “Honestly, we’re just trying to supply chain it up and not fall off a cliff, 💀 no one told us to invite Blackstone to dinner!" 🤣 But let’s get real – with all this high-stakes drama unfolding, the real question is: Are they buying Assent to crush the competition or just to keep their portfolios *extra crispy*? 🤔 🌌 Hot take: In two years, we'll see supply chain software become sentient and take over the world. Joins us for the inevitable "Rise of the Machines" 😱! 🔗🔥 Share this chaos if you're ready for the supply chain to go *FULL SKIBIDI* on us! 🤖💥