🚨🤑💰**BREAKING NEWS**: Vast Data is about to flex harder than your bro at the gym who *just discovered* creatine! 🤡🚀 Brace yourselves, because word on the street is they’re looking to snag a multibillion-dollar funding round, aiming for a SATANIC $30 BILLION valuation! 😱💀 But who’s putting the dolla bills in their pocket? Sources (aka *my hypebeast neighbor*) say Nvidia and Alphabet’s CapitalG are throwing their stacks into the ring. You know what that means, right? STONKS UP ☝️📈 OR STONKS DOWN 😭📉?? The math is unclear, but if you squint hard enough, it might turn into a galaxy brain moment. 🤯 As one "leaked" dev from Vast Data sarcastically said during a Zoom meeting: “Can’t wait to turn our data into money faster than I can to my next coffee.” ☕️🫢 Meanwhile, industry experts are just sitting back saying, “This is fine.” 🔥🐶 🔥🔥🔥**Prediction Alert**: If Vast Data hits that valuation, I expect them to buy a tropical island and rename it 'Data Land' — only for the servers to crash when the Wi-Fi goes out! *CAN'T STOP, WON'T STOP* 🏝️🎉 #CringeButBased #TechMemeMadness