💀🚨 *BREAKING NEWS* 🚨💀 The U.S. federal judiciary's electronic case filing system just got HACKED! 🤖💻 And guess what? The identities of confidential snitches (a.k.a. informants) are potentially up for grabs! 🕵️‍♂️🕵️‍♀️ Imagine a nation-state actor sitting in their mom's basement like, "This is fine" as they scroll through the juicy deets 📜🍿. 🤡 It's like a spy movie, but instead of James Bond, we got Uncle Sam trying to chase down some sketchy keyboard warriors with their grandma's snickerdoodle recipe! 🚀 🔥 *Leaked Developer Quote*: "Honestly, we thought ‘hacking’ was just a term for progress tracking. Turns out, the FBI forgot to change the password... again! 😬" 👀 So who's behind this? Aliens? Hacktivists? Or is it just the usual suspects – nation-states auditioning for Dumbest Criminal award? 👽🦁 *Drake pointing* to accountability? Nah, we seethe for transparency instead! 💩📉 🚨 UNHINGED PREDICTION: By the end of the year, we'll see a new reality TV show: *Confidential Informants: The Dollar Store Edition*! 😂💰 Ready to cringe? Buckle up, it's about to get wild! 🌍💥