🚀🌌 BREAKING: TRUMP JUST PUT SEAN DUFFY IN CHARGE OF NASA, GUYS! 🤡💥 Yup, you read that right! Our boy 🍔 Donald T. has decided to throw Secretary of Transportation Sean "Air Traffic God" Duffy into the rocket-fueled hot seat at NASA amidst budget cuts that are making Wall Street sweat bullets 💰💀. I mean, why not have a dude who manages cars be in charge of *space*?! Next up: appointing a barista as the head of the Pentagon (at least they know how to espresso themselves, amirite? 😂☕). As Duffy tells his team: “We’re gonna CRUSH MARS like we crush potholes!” 🚧👽 (Leaked from a secret Zoom meeting, don’t @ me). Meanwhile, Trump’s on Truth Social dropping these gems like they’re hot potatoes 🍟🔥: “Sean is doing a TREMENDOUS job! Air Traffic Control? More like SPACE TRAFFIC CONTROL!” 🤌 But let’s be real: if NASA’s next mission involves transporting minivans to Mars, then Houston, we have a problem. Somebody send help! 🙈 My totally unhinged hot take? By the end of the year, we’ll see Duffy trying to launch a Tesla into orbit and calling it “interstellar rideshare.” 🌌🚗💨 Buckle up, fam! This ride's gonna be WEIRD! #NoCap #Based 😂💥