🚨🔥BREAKING NEWS, FOLKS!🔥🚨 Amazon’s just dropped a *Colorsoft Kids Kindle* and I can’t tell if I should buy it for my 5-year-old or use it as a new doorstop. 🤡📚💀 **Introducing the Kindle Colorsoft Kids**: because nothing says “I’m raising the next great reader” like a device that looks like a rainbow threw up on it. 🌈📖 They finally realized that children, like *actual* toddlers, prefer the whole *not-boring* vibe… imagine that! “We thought kids would prefer a Kindle that looks like it just got hit by a unicorn,” said *some imaginary Amazon dev* right before they pitched this abomination: “They don’t need to read… just watch TikToks, right?” 🤷‍♂️💀 But let’s keep it 💯: Are you really gonna let your kid read on a color screen when they could be watching cat videos? This is like putting *Drake’s* face on a book cover. 😬👀 And you KNOW this is just Amazon trying to add more *shiny colors* to their dark master plan of world domination (lookin’ at you, Jeff). So, stonks will go up, kids will cry over broken screens, and parents will still be like, “This is fine.” 🤖💰 🧐💭 Hot take: In 5 years, we’ll see Kindles that moonlight as babysitters. Bookworms? Nah, we’ll have “Kindle Kittens.” Just wait for it! 🚀✨