🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS, LADIES AND GENTS! 💥🚨 Nike just dropped something hotter than your mom's basement pizza rolls! 🍕🔥 Introducing Project Amplify: the world’s FIRST powered footwear! 🦶💪 It’s basically an e-bike for your FEET! Because, let’s be real, running is hard and who has time for cardio? 😩💔 Nike slapped a motor on an ankle brace and called it innovation. 🤖💼 Just imagine this: you’re pretending to jog while actually channeling your inner couch potato — it’s like cheating, but for exercise! 📉🥴 “This ain’t for those competitive folks,” says some poor Nike intern pretending it’s not all for the gram, “just for anyone with a body!” 🙄💅 💡 MEME ALERT: Drake’s pointing to “sitting on the couch” for cardio and his “running” face is basically this tech. 😂 "Get fit or die trying," but also, “Get fit, but don’t even try!” 💀💀 Cue existential crisis! 🌌✨ And here’s the tea ☕️: In a few years, we’ll ALL be zipping around on powered shoes like the Jetsons. So, who’s investing in Nike stock? 💰 #Stonks 🙌💸 💥 HOT TAKE: If we’re not Turbo-multiplying our way into the Olympics by 2030, *did we even try?* This is the future, folks. Buckle up! 🚀💯