🎉📱 BREAKING NEWS: APPLE'S COO JEFF WILLIAMS JUST RETIRED AND THE iPHONE WOULDN'T EVEN UPDATE! 🍏⏰ That’s right, fam! The Apple overlord's 1st mate, Jeff Williams, aka the guy who probably invented the "Siri, help me feel emotions" button, has officially clocked out for the last time. 🕰️💼 I bet he walked out the door with a "one more thing" that never happened and a coffee cup that reads "I used to run this joint" 😂☕️ Bloomberg’s Mark Gurman reported that everyone's favorite hand-wringing Apple exec is sipping margaritas while we just seethe over our cracked screens. 🍹💔 Bet he’s out there yelling "STONKS!" while trading his iPhone for a flip phone and living his best life 🤠📞. I imagine the final words from Tim Cook were something like, “What do you mean the M3 chip won’t fix our quarterly sales? 🤷‍♂️” Then he slapped on the Apple logo and made the screen glow one last time. 💀✨ And for my hot take: Apple is gonna replace him with an AI that just tells you to buy more Apple products—even when you don’t need them! 🛍️🤖 Here’s the meme of the year, folks: "This is fine" meme but with the Apple logo on fire! 🔥💰 SHARE THIS, OR YOU'LL BE STUCK WITH AN OLD iPH⏳NE FOREVER!