🚨🔔BREAKING: META MELTDOWN ALERT!🔔🚨 Hold onto your VR headsets, fam! Meta's Chief Revenue Officer John Hegeman is peacing out after 17 years of riding the Zuckerberg rollercoaster 🎢💸. It’s like he woke up one day and said, "No cap, these Metaverse meetings are giving me existential dread!" 😱💀 But that's not all! Clara Shih, who joined last year to lead the "Business AI" unit (like that’s not a fancy way of saying “let’s automate everything until we’re the Skynet of social media” 😅🤖), is also making tracks! I can hear the door slamming from here! 🚪💨 Imagine their last Zoom call: John: "So, who thought it was a good idea to run the business like a TikTok dance challenge?" 🥴 Clara: “At least we’re not on Clubhouse, right?” 😬 Meanwhile, Meta's stock is just vibing like this: 📉🤡 *stonks crash sound* 🎶 Is this a sign that Meta’s trying to get in on the whole “not being cringe” trend? I’ll believe it when I see Zuck in a lowkey fit on TikTok! 👀🔥 🔥 Unhinged prediction: Meta's gonna replace its entire board with influencers and call it “leading with vibe!” Say goodbye to business analytics and hello to ASMR revenue streams! 💰💥