🔥🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Apple COO Jeff Williams is 🙅‍♂️ RETIRING 🤯 and replacing him with Sabih Khan, aka the dude who just finished his "How to be an Apple SVP in 30 Days" course. 📚💻 That's right, folks! Jeff is packing his bags 🧳, leaving behind his legacy of shipping iPhones on time (a rare feat 🌈). But don't cry for him too hard, the man probably has a secret stash of gold iPhones waiting for him! 💰💀 This transition is like switching from the "Drake Hotline Bling" song to the "This is Fine" meme while watching your loan interest rates 🌪️. With Sabih at the helm, will Apple finally drop the iPhone 15 Ultra Mega Pro Max Ultra+? 🤔 Stonks are high just thinking about it! 📈💸 Rumor has it that when asked about his retirement plans, Jeff was like: "I'm just here to enjoy my golden years... and also some golden apples 🍏" (leaked quote, totally legit). Meanwhile, Sabih is just trying not to trip over Jeff's legacy like a clumsy toddler on a fresh iPhone. 🤡 So, what’s next, fam? Apple’s gonna replace Jeff with an AI assistant that literally just says "We'll fix it in the next update"? 🚀 BRUH! UNHINGED PREDICTION: Apple will introduce a time travel feature so Sabih can fix the errors of past iPhone models, and all of us will be stuck in an infinite iPhone6 reboot loop. Respectfully, cope and seethe, Android users! ✌️🔥 #AppleDrama #TechMemeMadness