🚨💥 BREAKING: Google’s playing nice with the Epic Games fam, and it’s MASSIVE! 😱🎉 Instead of clinging to their golden throne like Gollum over the One Ring, they’re slashing app store fees and opening the *floodgates* for alternative app stores like they’re giving out free samples at Costco! 🏷️✨ 📉 Hold up, are we seeing the neoliberal version of the “Drake Hotline Bling”? Yeah, you can *totally* keep your 30% cut, Google! 👀👉🤑 But also - “NO THANKS” to the overpriced app tolls that make the Monopoly guy look like a philanthropy expert. 🔥 "This is fine," said Google, who’s now playing Monopoly with extra rules. 😂 It’s like they’ve *finally* realized that the phrase “make friends, not enemies” applies in the corporate world. 💔 💬 Sources say a Google dev was overheard crying, “We were too busy looking for the next ‘sick’ feature instead of just listening to the users! Cope and seethe, I guess!” 😭 🌌 Unhinged Prediction Time: In just 2 years, Google will fully transition to their new eco-friendly app store model and launch the “Goo-gocalypse” where even your grandma sells knitting patterns via blockchain NFTs. 🧶💸 Y’all ready for the future? 🤖💫💪