🚨📱BREAKING NEWS: Google’s got a deal for you, but it’s LOWER than your battery’s life expectancy! 🤡💀 🤖 So, Pixel 6a owners, buckle up for this wild ride! Google announced that if your battery is about to go *POOF!* 💥, you can cash in up to $150 towards a new phone! I mean, THANKS? Or is it more like “we’re sorry your phone is now basically a glorified calculator”? 📉💰 🔋💔 The update next week is gonna hit you harder than that one friend’s TikTok dance you didn’t ask for! Like, who knew *battery reduction* wasn’t just a hip new workout trend? #NoCap, your battery life just went from “slay” to "this is fine" 🐶🔥 👀 In the words of an imaginary Google dev after a few too many energy drinks: “We basically turned your Pixel 6a into a relic! But hey, at least you can get $150 off a new model that might not explode!!!” 😱🤡 Drake’s on standby, pointing at the ‘new phone’ like “This is the upgrade you're looking for!” 👌💔 So, stonks? More like: 🚀💩🤷‍♀️ 🔥 Hot take: In 2024, every phone will just be a subscription service. Fetch your popcorn now, fam! 🍿