🔥🚨 BREAKING: F5 just threw down $180M like they’re buying snacks for a late-night coding binge! 🍕💰💀 They’re snagging CalypsoAI, the digital bodyguard for AI applications that scream “I’m not a robot, I swear!” 🤖💥 In a totally not desperate move, F5 decided that fortifying their fortress against hackers is now their new flex. I mean, who needs a VPN when you have CalypsoAI guarding your precious GPT-4 like it’s the Crown Jewels? 💎👑 Here’s a leaked conversation from an F5 developer, probably while munching on some spicy memes: **Dev 1:** “Dude, did we just buy a whole startup?” **Dev 2:** “Yeah, but don’t worry—it’s totally worth it. I mean, they raised $45M and we just paid them 4x that! 🤑” **Dev 1:** *Seethe* “Sounds like we’re just buying their lunch money at this point.” 🤡💀 Meanwhile, Wall Street is vibing like Drake pointing, “Just protect me from these hackers, bro!” 🎤✨ **Final hot take:** By 2025, we’ll all have AI so over-secured it’ll be guarding our emotional scars! 🛡️🌌 In the end, F5 will pivot entirely to an emotional support AI hub. *This is fine*… right? 🔥😂 #AIOverkill #StonksUp 🌈