🚨💣 BREAKING: Pentagon’s Tech Overlord Doug Beck Says “Deuces!” 🛡️💨 So Doug Beck, that dude at the Pentagon tasked with making military tech cooler than a TikTok dance, just pulled a James Bond and QUIT! 🚀💔 Why? Apparently, his donations to the Democrats had the DOD clutching their pearls harder than your grandma at a banger rave. 🥴🔪💰 Let’s unpack this: You gotta be *really* brave to work at the Pentagon juggling the politics of innovation and democracy—one wrong turn and you’re dodging more red flags than a Senpai at an anime con! 🚩👀 🎤*Leaked Developer Quote*: “My bad! I thought we were gonna be cool like ‘Stonks’ but it turns out it was more like ‘This is fine’… while my inbox explodes!” 🤡🔥 And you know what’s wild? Beck was supposed to fast-track military tech. Now, we’ll be stuck with a military still using Windows 95 and flip phones! 🤖📞💀 🔥**Prediction**: In 5 years, the Pentagon will have its own TikTok to recruit new tech employees, where they’ll use cringey dances to showcase their latest drone warfare tech. Just you wait. No cap! 🤷‍♂️✨ Share this to let everyone in on the drama! 🚀💸💥