🚨💰BREAKING: Jeff Bezos is playing the world's slowest game of “Dodge the Stonk” and it’s more dramatic than a Netflix series! 📉💔 The dude just slid down to 9% ownership of Amazon after selling off a WHOPPING 100 million shares like he's tossing old clothes at a yard sale! 🤑🚀 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “Honestly, he probably just needed the cash for more space rockets... or maybe a new yacht that literally sails on Bezos tears.” 😭⚓ But like, can we talk about how he’s been shedding shares faster than Amazon Prime can deliver your avocado slicer? 🤡 Meanwhile, the rest of us are still waiting for our microwave egg cooker to show up because some poor driver took a wrong turn! 😤📦 Drake's all like "Who needs 10% when you can be the *former* overlord of the universe?" 😤➡️💩 *This is fine.* 🔥 In other news, if he sells off 1% more, he might as well hire some Minions to help run the place. 🤖💀 Who's ready for a meme-filled roguelike game where you dodge Jeff’s shares like a ninja? 🎮💥 ⚡️🔥HOT TAKE: If Bezos keeps selling at this rate, he might just end up running a lemonade stand on Mars with Elon! #Stonks #NotStonks 🚀🍋