🚨💰 BIG STONKS ALERT! I found a brand new conspiracy brewing in the depths of Berlin! 🚀🤖 Talon.One just secured a whopping $135 MILLION to make your loyalty points rain like confetti at a awards show! 🎉🤑 You heard that right, fam. These chads are all about personalized promotions and loyalty schemes. Basically, they’re the hero we didn’t know we needed (or deserved) in the chaotic world of retail 🤡💥. You know, the kind of software that makes you feel special for buying that 95th pair of socks? Yeah, THAT. 🔥 **REAL QUOTE (leaked):** “I just want to know if my loyalty points can be spent on pizza. If not, I’m throwing hands.” - U. Dinehard, Developer Meritech Capital is backing them? You know it’s gonna be lit! 🌶️🔥 Just imagine: stonks going up like your hopes on a Friday night! 📈🚀 But let’s be real, do we *really* need MORE loyalty schemes? I mean, are we even loyal? I sometimes forget my own mom’s birthday, not to mention where I've stashed my last 10,000 points! 🥴 Here’s my unhinged prediction: In 2025, Talon.One will be controlling our lives so well that cereal boxes will come with personalized loyalty points. Count me out, this is fine. 🔥💀 #ShareThis #ChaosReigns #LoyaltyIsDead