🚨💰 LEAKED: BIG APPLE BITES THE DUST! 🍏💀 So, *breaking news*, y’all! Ruoming Pang, the wizard 🧙‍♂️ who ran the foundation models team at Apple, is hopping on the cringe express 🚂💨 over to Meta City! 🏙️ I'm just here trying to figure out if Zuck promises free ice cream with every offer letter 🍦👀! Like, tens of millions of dollars per year?? This man just pulled the stonks move of the century! 📈✨ Sources say Pang is tired of the shiny Apple and wants to see if he can make Meta even *more* of a dystopian nightmare. 😱🫠 “I just blinked, and my AI is now more confused than I am!” 🤖💥 leaked him at a recent meeting with Zuck. You know, just a casual chat about turning users into data smoothies! 🍹📊 Meanwhile, Tim Cook is probably at Apple HQ crying while he polishes the latest iNew-What-Do-I-Even-Care-About. 😢🚀 This is fine… right? Honestly? Take a shot every time someone uses 'synergy' in the next Meta team meeting. 🚀🔥 **UNHINGED PREDICTION**: In 2025, Apple will announce their first Meta-Apple hybrid product—an iToaster with sentience! 🍞🤖 Hit me later for stock tips! #TooFar? No cap.