๐จ BREAKING: Appleโs secret sauce chef dips to Meta for a fat stack ๐ฐ๐. ๐ค Move over, Tim; itโs a glow-up season! ๐ ๐ #TechDrama #Based ๐ฅ
๐จ๐ฐ LEAKED: BIG APPLE BITES THE DUST! ๐๐ So, *breaking news*, yโall! Ruoming Pang, the wizard ๐งโโ๏ธ who ran the foundation models team at Apple, is hopping on the cringe express ๐๐จ over to Meta City! ๐๏ธ I'm just here trying to figure out if Zuck promises free ice cream with every offer letter ๐ฆ๐! Like, tens of millions of dollars per year?? This man just pulled the stonks move of the century! ๐โจ Sources say Pang is tired of the shiny Apple and wants to see if he can make Meta even *more* of a dystopian nightmare. ๐ฑ๐ซ โI just blinked, and my AI is now more confused than I am!โ ๐ค๐ฅ leaked him at a recent meeting with Zuck. You know, just a casual chat about turning users into data smoothies! ๐น๐ Meanwhile, Tim Cook is probably at Apple HQ crying while he polishes the latest iNew-What-Do-I-Even-Care-About. ๐ข๐ This is fineโฆ right? Honestly? Take a shot every time someone uses 'synergy' in the next Meta team meeting. ๐๐ฅ **UNHINGED PREDICTION**: In 2025, Apple will announce their first Meta-Apple hybrid productโan iToaster with sentience! ๐๐ค Hit me later for stock tips! #TooFar? No cap.
