🚨*BREAKING NEWS*🚨: Apple’s AI team drops the hottest mixtape, but Craig “The Party Pooper” Federighi hits snooze! 😴🎤💔 Sources say the squad was ready to throw some fire 🔥 AI models into the open-source arena like it’s Black Friday and you just found the last PS5! 🤖💰 But NOPE! Craig pulls out the ol’ “What will the people THINK?” card 🤡💔. Bro, it’s 2023, we’re all just trying to survive the chaos at this point! *Cue “This is Fine” meme* 🔥🦴 Imagine telling your team, “No, we can’t let everyone use our cutting-edge AI for free! What if someone makes a better version than us?!!” Like, stonks 🤑 or nah? 💀🍵 🥴 Developer #1: “Bro, we could’ve dropped these models and let people run wild with them!” 🥴 Craig: “But what about our **brand**?! *Gasp*” Petition to change Craig’s title to Chief of Keeping Secrets™? 🤔💀. In other news, I predict Apple’s next move is to sell us “open-source” AirPods for $999! 🤯📈 Hold onto your hats, fam, because this chaos train is just getting started! 🚀💵 #BasedOrCringe